2019 was your year – even if it was your teacher

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2019 was one of the best years of my life, and I was sad to see it go! I was actually a bit in denial until I came home on the 31st to this newspaper on the front steps, it was the Universe telling me it was time to mentally move forward. Usually I move into a new year with force, intention, and no looking back but this year was so powerful in defining my future that I wanted to stay close to all of the lessons.
I sat right there on the steps and took it all in. I not only survived a year that would have done in even the best of them, I actually thrived. This past year I met the most incredible humans, and learned so much about what I am truly capable of because friends (new and old) held space for me as I navigated unchartered territory. 2019 in a word was GROWTH.
I feel like 2019 said,
“Come with me. Take my hand and I will lead you where you need to go. I will show you truth. I will turn over the rocks and shine light in the shadows so that you can clearly see what is lurking there. I will keep you safe if you just lean into the messages, trust the lessons, and promise to keep climbing. I will take you to heights that you did not know you could reach – but you have to trust me because there will be pain, heartache, betrayals, and sheep in wolves clothing along the path. You are going to want to quit. You are going to want to turn back. I am going to test you in ways you did not know that you needed to be tested. 
We have to clean house. The time has come because your energy can’t be in two places. You can’t play small with those who are not ready to rise, and you can’t possibly elevate if you are stuck repeating cycles with those who carry old energy patterns. There are Angels, allies, soulmates, teachers, and mentors waiting for you. The Universe has big plans for you, but the time has come for you to choose your path: stay here and place blame, or own your story, your role in it, and then forgive and build new roads so that you can soar. Are you ready to do some really hard shit?”
I was ready. I have never worked so hard emotionally in my life. My time was spent in therapy, coaching, meditation classes and walking, miles and miles of walking, and processing. It was spent with leadership mentors, writing new curriculum, and with community. So much time with community – connecting, listening, sharing, and learning about people. Mirroring myself in these people. I failed, more than once, and for the rest of my life I will fail….and each time I rise up stronger, wiser, and more convicted in my WHY, this is how I know I am doing the work I was meant to do.
I FAILED. I FAILED AGAIN. I FAILED BETTER.
Each hard, impossible, and sometimes seemingly crazy lesson of 2019 left me stronger, more resilient, more compassionate, more convicted, and more assure of myself. Can there be a better gift than learning who you really are and what you are made of? I also learned no person, no place, no thing, no amount of money, and/or fame defines me. If I wake up tomorrow with none of those things, I know I will be okay. One foot in front of the other and I will be okay. At no point in my life have I ever believed that to be true. If I have nothing I still have me (my soul) in tact and authentic, vulnerable, and open. Because that is the power of self-love. Promises kept to myself.
2019, thank you, I will be forever grateful for every single interaction and every single day. Even the ones that brought pain. Especially the ones that brought pain. Because each one was a teachable moment. Not one of which was lost on me.
If you were eager to see 2019 end, look back and find the gain. One gain, any gain. There is always a gap (what wasn’t, what was done to us, taken from us, the bullshit life threw our way) and there is always a gain (what you learned about yourself, or humanity, or finding gratitude in having your basic needs met, or your own resilience because you are still waking up when others are not). Close out this year strong by finding that gain and use it to launch yourself into the next decade.
Make a list of what you got right. You are still here, so you got something right.  
Who showed up for you? Even if it was just you. Especially if it was just YOU!
Make a list of what you have.
You need air, water, food, shelter, warmth and love to survive, to thrive. So make a list of those things. I have heat. I have running water. I have shelter.
If 2019 was all about the gain and you had no gap, marinate in that! Congratulations on living and enjoying an amazing year! Take time to celebrate that.
Make a list of what you got right! It was a great year, you got things right.
Who showed up for you? Even if it was just you. Especially if it was just YOU!
Make a list of what you have.
See what I did there? Good times, bad times, happy times, sad times….we still have everything we need to survive when we love ourselves unconditionally and we find gratitude in having our basic needs met. It is in this place that we must stay rooted regardless of what life offers up. It is here that we are able to thrive because we can plant roots that will weather the most abundant harvest and the fieriest storms – perhaps only days, maybe even moments, apart.
Healthy People, 2019 was your year – even if it was your teacher.
Take those lessons and let them empower you because you have roared into the 20’s!
Happy New Year
Much love,
Jennifer
#whoquitshealthy

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