Portrait of a Rebel
Project Healthy Chrissy, in her own words.
This is basically how I used to live, anything I wanted I had. I was constantly trying to find that “thing” that would finally make me feel better. More stuff; more friends; more FOOD. More of EVERYTHING.
Thing is I NEVER felt any better; in fact I just kept feeling worse and worse. I wanted so desperately to BE somebody; DO something; ANY thing….I had been told my whole life I had so much potential….. And I never did anything with that, until now….at 43 I finally have begun to figure all this out. Why couldn’t I just get my shit together? Why couldn’t I just GIVE A SHIT? Who am I? What do I want to do?
I had zero answers for any of these questions, and I ate a lot of food to keep the desire to figure it out silent.
It wasn’t util Project Healthy Body that I begun to get a grip with where I was; zero self love; zero self parenting; zero personal direction or drive; but a fire inside that just wouldn’t shut up….Go Be Somebody.
Sure, No Problem…..How?
When I was first introduced to Gretchen Rubin’s “The Four Tendencies” I didn’t even need to take the test to know I was going to fall into the Rebel category. I mean I had been rebelling agains life for as long as I can remember.
What this simple test helped me figure out is not to rebel against myself any longer. Why was I punishing myself for the injustices of life; all the shitty people who had put me down or told I could’t do something….why was I proving them all right???? No longer!
Rebel’s resist inner AND outer expectations:
You can’t make me and neither can I
Well that sounds fun. How in the heck am I going to do this?
On the surface it looks bleak; Rebels are free spirits; they do what they want, when they want. They can be defiant; non-conformist and self destructive: Check Check Check.
BUT when goals align with identity…..watch out! Rebels can be some of the most driven and successful people you will ever meet. Once we buy in…we are all in. All those obstacles that were in our way before become fuel for our fire. You say I can’t….watch me!
Like I said before; we do what we WANT. So what do we want? This is where the work comes in. We don’t know what we want…or we haven’t defined it in a way that we truly connect with. We can’t BS ourselves…..believe me I tried.
Rebels need to get clear on who we want to be. I am a healthy person and I am going to fight like hell to be one. That is the switch that flipped for me. I was done being a shitty person; to my friends, family and most importantly to myself.
Being a healthy person means that I take care of myself; respect myself and my relationships. I stay in my own lane, because other peoples opinions of me are none of my business. My self worth comes from within it is not something I out-source.
All these things matter to ME.
Each of us has to do the work and get clear on WHY we want this. I do believe that there is a bit of REBEL in every woman who lacks self-love. We are all reeling against something; trashing on ourselves about something. What ever your “something” is bring that inner rebel out! Rebel against it and use it to fuel YOUR fire.
Figure out what matters to YOU.
Getting clear on what we want; and why we want it is the path to success, paired with action….we are unstoppable.