Project Healthy Mary
Project Healthy Body came at the perfect time for me. I had just taken care of my Mom and step Dad for the past three years, even hurting my right shoulder trying to lift my Mom. I couldn’t lift a pencil when my Mom passed, so I couldn’t turn to my passion of drawing or painting to ease my grief. That’s how far I put her needs ahead of mine. I love fiercely when I love, and I will give everything I have. After losing my Mom, my Sister in law, my best friend, my Step Mother and then finally my Step Dad in January 2018, I had very little of myself left.
I sat in a daze of deep grief and pain as I watched Jennifer and Holly on the Today Show segment. I listened with keen attention to Jennifer’s answer to the question, “Why do you do this?” She said, “As a coach it is my job to make these women realize they are worth it.” Jennifer was strong, she was sure of herself and not swayed by the energy around her and I knew I wanted in!
As Coach Beth says, I took a leap of faith and trusted the process. Even when I found out that Jennifer’s sessions were all full and I received Beth as my coach, I thought okay, I don’t know Beth, but I will trust the process. And let me tell you Beth was the coach for me. Just the right amount of ballsy, funny, loving, and intuitive. We were a good match.
First, I re-learned how to eat. In PHB, we eat the formula – which is Protein+Fiber+Healthy fats at every meal and snack. When I eat the formula, my cravings lessen and my energy stays consistent. I also learned about why I eat and how to change those long-standing habits and love myself more. The homework is key in PHB because to write about something and then share it ingrains it more into my consciousness.
Some major realizations for me this year were that I had primary foods. Primary foods are all the things that aren’t on my plate, like relationships, career, exercise, and spirituality. I also learned that I was an obliger, and that I was believing my critical voice. I learned that I could coach myself with positive affirmations. I started to see the limits that I was setting for myself.
As Brene Brown says, “ I could stop tap-dancing for approval”. I realized that I could take a deep breath and relax into life. I AM enough.
This past November I was diagnosed with a non invasive breast cancer. Even though it is non invasive the awareness of my mortality came out of the shadows. My family is the most important thing to me. I have the feeling that I need more time; I’m not finished yet. More than ever, I need to put myself first and do what I want to do! The beauty is that I have been a healthy person for the past year so I am already on track. Eating right, exercising (I could do better here) and taking care of myself.
I joined PHB at exactly the right time. In fact, I think it was Divine intervention. Since PHB, my life has come full circle: from taking care of others, to learning to take care of me.
One year later January 2019 I just had a lumpectomy and I face five weeks of radiation. I face this loving myself, being healthy, and trusting the leap into my continued self-love journey.