Project Healthy Holly
It is no secret that I still have a lot of weight to lose – about 70lbs, maybe more. For a long time now, I have been riding the coattails of my Project Healthy Body success last year. LAST YEAR! For a long time now, my weight-loss has been moving at a snails pace. For a long time, I have been enjoying shopping in regular stores and not thinking about the next steps. And for far too long, I have been accepting half way as good enough. It took a long time to get to 300lbs and it is going to take a long time to get to the finish line – but that is not an excuse to rest on my yanny (or laurels, if that’s what you heard). I want to get the rest of this weight off and enjoy all of the benefits that good health and self-love bring – and I want it badly enough to get back to the hard work, discipline, and self analysis that goes into “becoming”
“It doesn’t happen all at once, said the Skin Horse. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.” – Marjery William Bianco – The Velveteen Rabbit
Owning my story has come easily to me in many ways, but not in every way. I have always been a Pollyanna. It is not an act, and it is generally one of my greatest strengths. I will ALWAYS find the positive in any situation. The problems is that I am also a recovering perfectionist who likes to have everything figured out for my audience before I share my stories. Writing about a challenge is much easier when the challenge is solidly in the rear-view mirror. Writing about being in a stalemate without a happy ending takes a different kind of vulnerability. I think my Pollyanna side has been waiting to fully get back on track before writing an update. It doesn’t feel as good or as easy to admit that I haven’t been doing my best and that I don’t exactly know what happens next.
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten” – Tony Robbins
I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately – because Jennifer uses it often, and because it so perfectly matches with where I am currently at. I suspect it is the key to getting out of this rut and back on an upward trajectory. Because the truth is, I have been doing what I did in the beginning of this program. Am I off the rails or being shitty to myself? No. I am eating “healthy” foods, and I am getting my non-negotiable 10k steps per day – which worked for the first few months of last year…until it didn’t. Plateaus are an inevitable part of any weight-loss adventure. When you hit one, it is a signal that you need to shake things up and try something new. I know this! So why haven’t I pulled my big girl panties up and tried something new? Why have I been so comfortable with maintaining my weight for so long?
The truth is that I’m still not sure why – but I’m am not positive that even matters. What matters is that I use the tools that I have learned to pull myself back up. Fall down eight times / get up nine, as we quote often in the program. I am going to lean on the accountability that got me this far by declaring a couple of big bold goals to shoot for. So here goes nothing…
Bold Goal 1 – Autoimmune Protocol/AIP (Similar to Whole30 but I also remove nuts, eggs, and nightshade vegetables) – it was this time last year that I tried it for the first time and failed miserably, due to my own self-limiting beliefs. I gave it another shot in the fall and was shocked at how amazing I felt. I have two autoimmune diseases, so it’s really a no-brainer that this would be a good direction for me. And I’m not starting this on a “Monday” either. Monday starts are for dieters. Eff that. This starts with my very next meal, which will be breakfast tomorrow.
Bold Goal 2 – Soul Cycle / Lift – I love going to spin class. For me, it is not just a workout. It is time that I purposely carve out for myself. It is time without my kids, my husband, my career, or anything else that pulls me in a million directions. When I’m on a bike, I think about where I have been and where I’m going. I think about what I have achieved thus far, and all that lies ahead. I feel good about myself. I feel like a badass, and that is the worlds greatest feeling. Initially, I was going to commit to going a non-negotiable twice per week – but that isn’t pushing myself. It’s not a big or bold goal for me (even though I haven’t been going lately). So I am going to commit to three times per week.
Bold Goal 3 – The five minute journal – It doesn’t make a ton of sense that I love to write, but am notoriously terrible at journaling. This may not be a big bold goal for others, but it definitely is for me – so I am committing to writing in my shiny new five-minute journal from Monday through Friday each week. It is a great way to keep my goals top of mind, and also to stay accountable for the commitments I am making to myself.
I wrote this blog post last night and promptly kicked off project “be bold” first thing this morning. I know it is early, but I also know how strong my resolve can be when I set my mind to it. I feel excited to post this tonight and declare my goals to the universe. Nothing boosts accountability like the backing of a large community of PHB followers. But ultimately it’s me who got myself into this mess, it’s me who is going to get myself out of it.