Project Healthy Sharla
For as long as I can remember I’ve had a nagging voice in my head telling me that I wasn’t deserving of love/meaningful relationships/nice things/anything. No matter how good things were in my life, I knew it was only a matter of time before that voice reminded me I was unworthy. I built a wall around me to protect myself from getting too close to others. My inner voice was always quick to remind me that people won’t like the real me. I avoided situations and experiences because I didn’t feel I belonged, and I spent way too much time speculating on what others thought of me when they, most likely, weren’t thinking of me at all.
I let the negative voice control me.
I knew this barrier was the difference between going through the motions of life and actually living life. I had heard about Jennifer and Project Healthy Body in late 2016, and I read her blog and began following the PHB Facebook page. I was inspired by her story as well as her clients who were showing themselves and others they were worth it. They believed in themselves, which is something I had never done. When Jennifer announced openings for her groups last fall, it took all I had to get the nerve up to contact her and then even more nerve to sign up and commit to the PHB program. Once I did though, I told my friends and instead of them thinking poorly of me for reaching out for help, each one of them supported me and continue to support me today.
As for that negative voice in my head, well, through PHB I’ve identified and named her Charli and have kicked her to the curb. She is not the voice of my authentic self, and therefore has no part of my life from here on out. By releasing that negativity, embracing all that I do have in my life, and believing in myself, I am living the life I deserve because I AM worth it.
No more stressing over the past or worrying about the future. I am living in the moment and being present every day. I even ran up a hill in our neighborhood that has intimidated me for 14 (yes, 14) years! Now that I know what positive energy and believing in myself feels like, nothing can stop me!